Friday, September 9, 2011

Mala & Anand

Today our wonderful Choya Bean is getting married in Kuala Lumpur as I type this. As always I truly wished I was there to witness the wedding.. I am there in spirits, just as her father is from the heavens up above.

Mala & Anand, this is for you both. 








Thursday, September 8, 2011

Cyber vacation.

Over the weekend I deactivated my facebook account; took it as my way of detoxing. I missed the interactions with a few good friend, you know, they are like stars.. I know they are always there and are like bras - great support (eventhough they are not physically nearby). 














Wednesday, September 7, 2011

When I least expected it...



This green envelope contained a few surprises when I least expected it from the Fab Five girls. I love the gifts, but more importantly, I loved the thought that came with these delightful suprises. I started my therapy that very day with the shower cream to rejuvenate, then lit the candle for more calmness and then had the chocolates to nourish the soul. 

Fab 5's, I can't begin to express what your gift means to me.  I so greatly appreciate the thought behind the gift.Thank you once again.

Friday, August 5, 2011

I am truly blessed.



Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses. In every cloud there is always a silver lining; if your mind is open enough to see it.

Friday, July 15, 2011

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
 

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

 
  ~Stacey Charter~
 
 

Friday, May 20, 2011

What I learn about letting go...


To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,
it means i can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I don't control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try change or blame another,
I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny but to accept.

To let go is not to nag,scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but
to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Everything changes.

Wheter we like it or not, everything changes. How do you adapt to changes? Do you make a fuss about it or are you one who 'goes with the flow'?


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Happy Me

It is only 10am and I already have the 5 things that made me happy this morning, despite having only four hours of sleep.


  1. Coffee. I am not the usual 20-cups-a-day coffee drinker, more like a 10-cups-a-year. Nevertheless I am truly grateful to those wh created this mojo from a seed/bean. 
  2. Technology. Said it once and I'll say it again. Skype, facebook, the internet and broadband. :)
  3. My husband's morning kiss. 
  4. My son's thoughts on hairsprays and gels..he's growing up too fast. 
  5. A phone call to my sis whose laughter sends good vibes out :) 
  6. My mom's reassuring voice.
  7. I am blessed to be able to read and write.. and to do it in another language is a greater blessing
  8. I have my health. I am truly truly grateful.



Monday, March 28, 2011

Why does it take an accident/event/incident/situation for us to appreciate the things that really mean to us? Why does this have to happen for us to take a step back and say 'whooaaa... hold on a minute'

I am going to hold my child a little longer and spend more time holding my husband's hand.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself. ~Elbert Hubbard~
 
 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Friendship is like a book. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.


My book story - I finished readingsome; a few books are kept on the shelf as I know I'll read them again later on and that it is good to know that the books are there. Some books are just not meant to be read.. some not worth reading, some not worth saving... some are just better left in the bookshop.. then there are classics worth reading again and again.. a few favourite ones :)

What is your book story like?

Friday, March 18, 2011

The book of life?

Is there such a book, with a manual on how to deal and cope with with various situations and events in life? If there is, I doubt it I would buy it. I like the idea of writing my own book of life. Basing it on joy, love and happiness, it would never have a final chapter.




Thursday, March 17, 2011

Commitment


It still amazes me what makes me happy are the small little things one takes for granted.. and moves me to tears. Like this wonderful sunrise taken at a place I call my sanctuary in Scotland. 

They say a journey begins with a single step. I cant really remember when the step took place, but I remember the day I made a commitment to myself. That I will listen to ME. I will fill my soul with music yet be able to hear what it wants to say to me. What the hearts wants me to know. Deep inside, I know what my dreams are. I know its desires and I've honoured it.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Life is..




Life is a journey, not a destination. 
In the end, each of us will be judged 
by our standard of life, not by our standard of living; 
by our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth; and 
by our simple goodness, not by our seeming greatness.

Monday, January 3, 2011

2010.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes its better to leave them broken rather than hurting yourself trying to put them back together.


That is exactly what I did last summer. It didn't feel so good in the beginning but as time went by, I now stand my my decision and am glad it happened. I would get hurt and finally it came to a point where no bandages or plasters could help anymore. I said goodbye.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The heart will mend
The soul will recover
The tears will dry up
The trust will come back
The hurt will ease
The love will rejoice

all in due time..

Saturday, June 26, 2010

June 16...

10 years ago I boarded a SAS flight to Sweden. My then fiancé was waiting for me and the moment I saw him, all my worries and fears flew away and while he hugged me in his arms, I knew this is where I will stay.


16th June 2010 marks a new milestone in my life – 10 years in Sweden. A lot has happened, both good and bad. More good though ;). I found a bad full of photographs. In order to celebrate my 10 years in Sweden, I had a photo exhibition at the local library, calling it ’Sweden through my eyes’. Here are some photos I’ve put up.




The journey. 
i am not sure where I am headed but I am sure gonna enjoy the journey to my various destinations.



This image reminds me of a swedish song that goes like this 
Vem kan segla förutan vind?
Vem kan ro utan årar?
Vem kan skiljas från vännen sin
utan att fälla tårar?

Jag kan segla förutan vind,

jag kan ro utan årar,
men ej skiljas från vännen min
utan att fälla tårar.




Tulips, lovely tulips everywhere in spring. 




Swedish summer isn't complete with fresh potatoes, herring and vodka (the last two missing from the pic) 
and not forgetting all the berries to be enjoyed.. 



Pure innocence.. and hope.

Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.
-   Khalil Gibran











Friday, February 5, 2010

2009 - what a year!


I’m ALIVE! Kicking and still going strong. 

2009 was a year of learning. I learned to listen to my inner voice. I listened deep and long. I learned to meditate, to block out noises and unhealthy thoughts. I learned who friends are, who supported me and who pretended. That hurt a lot but the same time I am thankful I saw the truth. I also learned the power of love.




In June I also realized that I was not going to continue my pre-school teaching degree as this isn’t what I wanted in life. This was something I had to release and let go. Then the next hurdle came – what do I really really want to do. I listened again to my inner voice, told the universe what I wanted and voila, I am studying what I really love. Distance. Via the internet. Thank god for technology.

2009. The days rolled by.. time and tide waits for no man. I watched my son grow;  we did many things the three of us together.  We sowed seeds for the balcony box and his tomato plants, we were out in the woods a lot plucking blueberries in the summer. I also discovered a new craze – jigsaw puzzles!

I learned that no matter how much I love, sometimes God loves them more. In august my beloved godfather left us to be with God.. he died in his sleep and he probably didn’t suffer much. I take that as a consolation. I’ve got a lifetime of memories to get me by. All the holidays, the jokes,.. Doc, you are forever in my heart. My godmother needs time to heal and I’ve given her all the space she needs.. i miss her terribly though.

October 2009 I fulfilled a childhood dream. We were in Oslo for a weekend holiday. I didn’t get to see all the fjords but it doesn’t matter. I know we’ll go there again. 


I let go.
I released all tension.
I released all fear.
I released all anger.
I released all guilt.
I released all sadness.
I let go of all old limitations
I am peace with myself.
I am at peace with the process of life.
I am safe.


It took a while to feel the way I feel but it was worth the sweat, the pain, everything.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

CBT

The clinic where I live organised a 'weight loss support group session' and today was the first of six session. At first I wondered if 6 sessions are going to be of any help, then again something is better than nothing. I've a few CBT questions to answer as 'homework'. Hopefully I can break the cycle.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Umma

Today was my mom's 60th birthday.. and I really wished with all my heart I was there with her. I kind of started the day feeling down, then the feeling spiraled into frustration and misery. I was upset and grumpy and sadly took it out on my son and husbanf while I vacuumed our home... and then sat down and burst into tears, allowing myself to feel what I felt. I said some affirmations namely 'Life supports me and I support life... all is well in my world' and felt better after a while.

A dear friend Caroline came over spontaneously in the evening and we spoke a lot about how to get rid of that inner voice.. you know the one that finds a way to make you feel inadequate..  It takes a lot of practicing.. 4 months and I am still practicing.

What made me happy today.

1. 'Me-time' - I had 2 full hours, on a weekend for myself.
2. I read a few wonderful magazines during my 'me-time''
3. The support I received from my friends on facebook. 
4. Caroline's chats and visit.
5. The 5 minutes my husband and I spent teasing each other while the energizer calmed down watching Wall.E
6. My sister and I had a good laugh about our mom.